Holidays

Hi-dee-hi

My rant today is about holidays.

Why?

Why would any self-respecting person subject themselves to a week (or, frightfully, more) in the company of the humans that, so disrespectfully, brought them into the world and probably named them the most horrific name like 'Gertrude' or 'Fabiola' or some equally mortifying confection.
Why? Because they are probably too dirt poor, or young to under-go such an expedition alone.
I, myself, have recently returned from a 'family bonding holiday'. Our bonding reached such heights as to bring on arguements about suitcase size, daily activities, clothing suitability and other such nonsense. The climax of these spats was my younger sister ending up with an egg sized bruised on her head after a particularly angrey game of frisbee, thus ending the loving atmosphere of the week.

Summer holidays, another excuse for parents to insist on spending 'quality family time' together. I.E another excuse for 'have-a-go-ness' and the usual parental rants and moans.
Really, the reason summer holidays were invented is so that teenagers and tweenagers (as I like to call them) get to spend 6 blissful weeks away from the discusting creatures that are adults.
We are subjected to several hours of torment a day from those monstrosities who assume they know alot more about the world than us purely because they have cursed it with their exsistance for longer than us.
But as soon as you have made plans for wild excursions, lavish shopping sprees and 'wake-overs' (well, you don't sleep do you??), your folks come along with a list of relatives and 'fun family days out' at places like The Dog Collar Museum and Pink Elephants Fantasy Playground that you 'simply have to visit'.

Ahh alas, long gone are the days when swinging around on Dad's shoulders and wearing Mum's shoes were sustainable forms of entertainment. Say hello to years of drug induced, alcohol enhanced, romps...which to be quite honest, I can't wait to start.

ladyoutspoken